He might be cavorting with Natalie Portman on screen, but back home Ashton’s in trouble with the neighbours over his habit of, err... relieving himself in the garden. Doesn’t he know it’s bad for the grass?
Nipping at the snow’s frosty heels comes the latest trend in rubbish weather: blowing our hair out of place, dislodging hats, and - criminally - lifting David Hasselhoff’s kilt outside the Britain’s Got Talent auditions. Some things you can’t unsee.
The problem beset nation, suffers another defeat. This time against the elements, as its ‘World Island’ project is reclaimed by the sea. It’s the end of the world, but not as we know it...